love is supposed to be a sweet thing isnt it?

remember my first love. things are so simple. i like u, and u like me. no guessing games. no sign of accusing or decieving. pure and simple. sweet.

wad abt the love im experiencing now? as we grow up, i realised that it is a complicated thing, yet many yearn for it. love being one-side is not the worst thing in life. it is the part which constitute to a GAME. there are many players in the relationship. one trying to outdo another. its either i dump u or u dump me. where's the significance?

is this mentality purely to protect oneself or to hurt the one who love u? or is it in the process of self-defence tat u accidently hurt the other him/her? for me, once bitten twice shy. i used to be ugly. for those who knew me since secondary sch days, u would have known how i looked like. love one guy truely, and he loves me too. this is wad i tot. and aft which, i see him standing rite in front of me and say:

ouch. it hurts, alot. lead to a scar. a deep one. y did he wan to do tat? aft this incidence, i began to learn. being too serious is stupid. to fall in straight is stupid. to love is stupid.

up till now, i still meet bastards. different ones. don get me wrong.. im not referring to ALL guys out there.. there are still some who are sincere and true. but i juz don have the luck.

hibernating seems helpful now. gimme time to think. to recall. to see thru guys. u can get me down. it's ok. but when i get up, i'll be stronger. don ever approach me again bastards. cos if it happens, it's PAYBACK time. im serious.

Our Sweet & Sours - 2:51 PM;

empty life. is the word ruiqin used to describe my life.

he's back. andy. whether he is going to stay, i dunno. we met up two days ago for a short one hour. he sms me last nite and said he still like me abit. shld i believe him or shld i not?

do i still like him? do i? even if i do, is he serious when he say he still likes me? does the term like necessary lead to commitment?

to play safe, i would convince myself say, he's toying with me. but y? don i deserve something better?

im going to hibernate.

Our Sweet & Sours - 2:08 PM;

Announcement!!

er.. i noe its expected.. dun scold me hor keke.. im now back to singlehood again.. =x (long story) but to summarize, juz say im not understanding enough to be his gf..

recently, i feel lyke no one actually has the time for me.. all busy with their own stuff.. sad.. esp. guys at this age, its either they are in ns, or they are working part-time cos no longer get pocket money from parents.. can understand one lah.. not everyone same as me still get allowance. in this sense i feel more fortunate..

work and studies realli tire him out. his hectic schedule.. not everyone can tarhan.. tats not the main thing.. main thing is tat when he tire, he no mood no energy to acc me.. even on weekends finally can go out and spend more quality time together, we met at 3plus pm and 8pm he's already worn out..

worn out.. his mood oso not tat good.. i no satisfied cos he's not gibing me the attention i wan.. or am i asking to much? up to u all to debate ba.. guys have their needs (understanding gf). girls too have their needs (attention from bf).

let's juz say now tat im free. no longer do i feel trapped by him. able to breathe. less troubles. initially, i wan a divorce. he don wan so i opt for a separation. last nite, he agreed to break up. and even ask me not to contact him in future and he will not interfere in my matters anymore. i quite taken aback. i think he agreed cos i rather tok on the phone with my god brother than him. he muz be thinking tat my heart is straying.

let him be ba.. if he realli feels tat for the past 2weeks im only decieving him, with no real intention of staying beside him, let him be. no longer i need him. and i seriously feel his life cant tolerate my presence. work work work. study study study. all the best.

no hard feelings but.. can YOU pls return my mp3 tat mervin gave me? its not a GIFT. i merely lent u. can u imagine, when i ask him for my mp3 back, he replied:

"oh u wan to be like tat rite, den return everything i had given u."

unreasonable huh? wad a guy. did i ever said i GIVE u my mp3? fuck off lah.

Our Sweet & Sours - 10:40 AM;

hehe.. 158 bucks.. guess what is tat? yuppie!! rebonded my hair last nite.. spent a damn long 5 hours in the hougang mall salon Jantzen.. tat one at 4th level u noe? but the exciting part is i have a new look- had my fringe cut short.. hmm.. how shld i describe eh.. maybe u have a look at the photos and u will see a difference..

dear so noble.. accompany me there, sacrifice his sleep.. for the whole day he slept for a mere 2 or 3 hours =x thanks.. i love u dear.. eggs for ya hee..

having lessons now.. see ya!

Our Sweet & Sours - 8:23 AM;

BOO!! haha.. im back!!! nid to clear the spiderwebs hanging around my blog ler keke.. wonder how many of u actually still will visit my blog now.. sad* let me see.. last post.. August 31st.. for the whole month of September and October yours truely has been MIA =x hope u girls will forgive me ok ok? hee.. IPP realli taking me lots of time.. shag me out. cant blog in scs. wahh so fast 11 weeks pass by. feeling abit yi yi bu she i remembered.. the last day of IPP almost left me in tears.. to think tat during my 1st week there i cant wait to get out of there.. thankful to my two supervisors Grace and Cecelia.. they have been so patient.. dunno when will i get to see u again but.. realli am grateful for the past 11 weeks (:

straight after IPP, i rescheduled my secondary sch gathering to 1st of Nov, which initially was.. 30th of Oct.. so sorry pals.. got a chalet tat weekend.. u all are to understanding huggies** actually, the chalet, supposing to be fun, ended up being sick for the sunday after the bbq on friday nite. i still can recall.. having diarrhea (going to toilet for upteen times, abt 7 to 8 times?) and fever in the evening.. upset stomache.. din realli get to enjoy the chalet haix.. pui* imagine a 3 day 2 nite chalet, the sunday planning to go escape and perhaps cycling or wadever.. wasted wasted..

den last tuesday is the gathering we have been looking forward to.. steamboat at marina bay.. went to ping xian still having stomache cramp but force myself to go.. muz go wor.. otherwise i'll be killed by my sweeties hee.. 16 of us turned up. we chat, took some photos after the dinner. the photos i already posted up in my friendster and even put as my display pic.. see how important u r to me!! haha..such a waste though.. joanna and doreen din turn up ): joanna has something on at home.. as for doreen.. i dunno.. heard tat she din reply to kua's sms..

surprisingly, 10 guys came for the gathering.. been a long time din see them, some changed a lot, some the same.. cornelius is sitting juz opposite me, my old flame, as wad ruiqin said haha.. hmm.. wierd. awkward. we din talk. expected. anyway, we all went to arcade after they satisfy their huge appetite haha.. buey tarhan.. wei wen challenged me nba.. and u shld noe the outcome lolx.. =P~~ den the guys decided to stay for lens game so my sweeties and i headed home ard 9plus.

well well, so much of the gathering.. i met up with zhiqing and winnie (my primary best mates).. meiting got something on.. xianhui got wrong info din turn up diaozzz.. lunch at pastamania, took love katty and use zhiqing's digital camera to take photos.. haben send me!! cant wait to post at my friendster.. winnie say i the shortest so stand in the middle.. but! they say i photogenic grins* no wait! toopid ruiqin say me in photo pretty but in person.......... haiz.. have to admit.. my pimples all come out sianz.. complexion has been bad.. but my dear dear keep saying i still look great.. worried*

i recieved a.. friendster msg out of nowhere.. this time round is a girl pengzz.. it seems like she happen to browse thru my profile and read the part dedicated to my dear dear.. she told me that she realli agrees with wad i wrote and asked for my permission to copy it and put in her shout box.. i don mind of cos... hee.. juz feel tat.. how come out of a sudden this girl msg me and i dunno her? don tell me she's interested in me? u noe.. tat kinda feeling.. normally girls dun msg girls.. keke.. nice to noe u though! i added her and we became friends.. a cute girl.. since she call me pretty girl in her msg lolx..

Lynn's birthday.. already given her a keychain during the gathering.. hope she likes it.. happy birthday lynn!! these few days have been quite unsure of myself, insecure of the way i look.. toopid pimples toopid complexion.. shld i go see a doctor? all ruiqin's fault.. she started it humph! and today, a classmate of my dear commented tat i grew fatter as compared to 1year back. say i look better instead.. not so skinny. in other words, im FATTER!! oh god.. den i ask ruiqin whether it is true or not.. she look at me... up and down.. den replied a YES! face rounder and arm thicker. what the.. how come im changing and i dunno? and is changing for the not so good..

8th of Nov

Our Sweet & Sours - 11:53 AM;