Thursday, June 30, 2005
today's thursday already.. the week sure pass by faster than i expected. a busy week.. we gotta conduct an interview for our insurance project. so we emailed to 20 over companies for help.
only one responded, and he actually rejected the interview. oh gosh!
deadline next tues. den nithya suggested call up company directly to request for the interview. tse hsiung did the calling haha.. cox no one wans to call, push all responsibilities to him. hee..
a lady named ms cindy lai, a general manager of a insurance broker company. din guarantee say will ans our questions but yet wans a favor from us to find out abt our sch's industrial attachment stuff.
looking for cheap labour? haha.. this is wad i tot.
got a D- for my effective writing ica1. haix.. 2nd guy in my life to affect my studies. the 1st guy is way back when i was in sec 1- he is sengkang, in case u dunno haa.
still can remember i flunked my maths test.. flunking a maths test realli happens only once in my entire sch life..
well.. when i see the D- today, i was like "huh?! how come i score so bad?!" but i jux sit down there keeping my silence.
sms him abt tat.. and he asked me to do well in others.
but y in the hell i sms him at the 1st place? toopid me.
not tat i'm blaming him for the poor grades. it jux makes me wonder y neglect my studies. i could have been smarter. only got myself to blame..
then ruiqin told me not to worry.. cox the teacher said tat for the 2nd ica the whole cohort did better.
how not to worry? there goes my straight dist, A & B. going to see C & D this semester.
only one responded, and he actually rejected the interview. oh gosh!
deadline next tues. den nithya suggested call up company directly to request for the interview. tse hsiung did the calling haha.. cox no one wans to call, push all responsibilities to him. hee..
a lady named ms cindy lai, a general manager of a insurance broker company. din guarantee say will ans our questions but yet wans a favor from us to find out abt our sch's industrial attachment stuff.
looking for cheap labour? haha.. this is wad i tot.
got a D- for my effective writing ica1. haix.. 2nd guy in my life to affect my studies. the 1st guy is way back when i was in sec 1- he is sengkang, in case u dunno haa.
still can remember i flunked my maths test.. flunking a maths test realli happens only once in my entire sch life..
well.. when i see the D- today, i was like "huh?! how come i score so bad?!" but i jux sit down there keeping my silence.
sms him abt tat.. and he asked me to do well in others.
but y in the hell i sms him at the 1st place? toopid me.
not tat i'm blaming him for the poor grades. it jux makes me wonder y neglect my studies. i could have been smarter. only got myself to blame..
then ruiqin told me not to worry.. cox the teacher said tat for the 2nd ica the whole cohort did better.
how not to worry? there goes my straight dist, A & B. going to see C & D this semester.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
i have jux beginning to feel better, and there comes a sms from -him- asking me to remember eat lata.
makes me wonder, y show tat he cares? so hard to see him as a friend now.. and i noe the care he is showing doesnt mean anything else.. haix..
met a new guy recently bt i'm clear of the fact tat i'm not really ready for a new commitment. jux let nature take its course ba..
ok, enough of these.. gonna bore u all to death if i keep ranting on and on abt this issue for days lolx..
anyway, last nite had crabs for dinner!! yummy yummy.. thx granny, though u will nv get to see this blog haha!!
oso have to say a big thank you to lao kua and ruiqin.. regarding the cmfi and investment project this week. realli helped me alot when i have no direction at all on wad to do.. if not for them, gonna score badly for these projects.. hugs.. hee..
for cmfi, my grp actually got a grade A.. budden the teacher say we did badly for the previous written test.. orh.. die le larx.. haha.. let's jux pray hard to pass =p
makes me wonder, y show tat he cares? so hard to see him as a friend now.. and i noe the care he is showing doesnt mean anything else.. haix..
met a new guy recently bt i'm clear of the fact tat i'm not really ready for a new commitment. jux let nature take its course ba..
ok, enough of these.. gonna bore u all to death if i keep ranting on and on abt this issue for days lolx..
anyway, last nite had crabs for dinner!! yummy yummy.. thx granny, though u will nv get to see this blog haha!!
oso have to say a big thank you to lao kua and ruiqin.. regarding the cmfi and investment project this week. realli helped me alot when i have no direction at all on wad to do.. if not for them, gonna score badly for these projects.. hugs.. hee..
for cmfi, my grp actually got a grade A.. budden the teacher say we did badly for the previous written test.. orh.. die le larx.. haha.. let's jux pray hard to pass =p
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
skipped effective business this morning..
remembered ruiqin sort of "reprimand" me say i this semester in sch so bo xin. my best fren indeed. dun realli have to say it out and she noes all. shld have listened to her when she told me to let go of da relationship.
have been keeping my hands off da phone. falling sick. sound so sicky on da phone, whoever calls.
g-insurance tutorial lata at 4pm. have to go for tat one cos' i got the 2nd warning letter liaox. hurhur.. haix.. and the warning letter is cox of him. skipped it tat time juz to spend more time with him.
shit. he kept appearing in my mind. i realli giving him up this time. he's not the guy i wan. ytd nite peter told me smth tat i feel is so true.
he says, a relationship cannot juz depend on "feelings" to survive, cox feelings will go away when time goes by. this describes my relationship.
he's juz not the rite guy for me. so why am i holding it on? at least i got everything straighten out now. i believe time can heal everything. i juz nid time. wonder if my projects and icas can wait for me to heal 1st keke..
Monday, June 27, 2005
a new blogskin. a new beginning for the blog owner.
he dumped me last sat.
yea.. there's nth to be shy abt. i'm being dumped like a rubbish* outta the relationship finally. he thinks i'm not a gd gf for him.
am i relieved? been asking myself for close to 3days. and i have to act a strong front in front of him. i dunwan to let him noe i'm weak!! why am i so unwilling to let go of the love we shared?!
a clear mind would tell me to giv it up. it's not worth it. cox we are so different. if this is love, how come i feel so bitter?
a clear mind would tell me to giv it up. it's not worth it. cox we are so different. if this is love, how come i feel so bitter?
i tot things will be fine. i tot we will be fine. end up everything's not fine. it's juz an illusion. juz an illusion when i tot he's mine once again.
realli.. the toughest thing is to smile and laugh it out loud, when it pains in my heart. i can't show tat i care. and it's the pride in me.
there are so many players in the relationship. so how come i always seem to be the loser?
this time i'm giving up.
this time i'm giving up.
Monday, June 20, 2005
x. my heart simply melts `.x
we patched things up oreadi.. keke.. i noe.. typical me hor? i tot it was over ler.. basically both of us are mad at each other.. initially, on friday he booked out, he suggested a one month cool off period, and refused to see me or hear from me. i noe i got him angry this time by initiating the break up thrice oreadi =x so wilful me.. den ytd, which is sunday, he asked me out.. i guess we really miss each other lots.. i tot i can live w/o him.. and as for him, he has tot of giving me up too.. two "chou pi jiang" together lolx.. i still can feel his hug now though he booked in ytd nite liaoz.. when he hug me in his arms and said, "everything's alright now", my heart simply melts!! from this, i've learnt another thing, tat is to compromise. i guess, both of us realli need to work hard on tat!! i dunno whether this is the right path for us.. i juz noe tat i love him.
Monday, June 13, 2005
x. my thoughts `.x
i always heard abt girlfriends running away when their boyfriend is serving ns. well, it's not true. u noe wad? guys tend to neglect their girlfriends' needs, expect them to be understanding with this, understanding with tat. dear,our honeymoon period is over. u said b4 u sometimes scare alot of thing.. so y cant u understand y i'm thinking too much here? see for urself ur change in attitude. compare now with this. everything's changed. u said ur wish is i stay happy. ask urself, how true it is for now. on sunday u said i'm lying in my blog when i say i'm trying to be understanding for u. so who's the liar now? u nv cared abt my feelings when u said i'm lying in my blog. so how's the feeling now when i accuse u of lying? ya. onli me can make u fall tears. how abt me? where are u when i'm crying in my sleep? need me to tell u? U ARE SLEEPING. tired does nt mean u can ignore my needs. i'm feeling so insecure here, trying to figure out whether u have lost interest in me, or u are purely tired. u simply ignore my needs, and u call urself my bf. things have changed. so has my confidence in u, in the relationship. u realli got me all pissed off. and i believe so do u.
x. end of story .x
we broke up. i initiated.
gal:
since ndp is taking lots of his time, u, as a bf, shld pamper and shower me with more care with remaining time we have. and yet, u expect me to be more understanding, noe when to giv u space for ur family and frenz. ya rite. i din say tat this is wrong. but tat doesnt mean u cant spare a few 5mins or so to chat with me on da phone? is it too much to ask? think of it. out of the 7days, the number of times i had the chance to speak to u. ok. tat's not all. u lay out restrictions on my hair length, my habit of dozing off in the bus and not exercising. and i'm not supposed to be angry when u said smth tat i don like. don u think u shld be more sensitive to my feelings? saying i'm fat. since u like girls with shorter hair and those who will listen to ur demands, y did u choose me at the 1st place? u really make me feel as though i'm not gd enough for u. ok. i admit. I'M NOT GD ENOUGH FOR U.
guy:
u are always thinking negatively abt our relationship. some time for me to spend with my family isnt too much to ask for. basically 80% of my time out here is with u. so when i reach home, it is either i will feel tired or i need time for my family and frenz. even when i'm out there with my frenz after sending you home, you expect me to talk to you on the phone. my time is so limited and do u think i have a choice? when i'm back home, i'm all tired. and i juz wanna u to look nicer with shorter hair length. dozing off in the bus for a girl is not so gd to see. exercise more is for ur own gd. now the time between us is short now, the more we shld treasure our time, and not always quarreling. u r making me feel wierd with all ur thoughts.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
x. understand- a not easy 10-letter word to do `.x
can things be less complicated? hai hai.. as his gf, i noe i have to be understanding, understand he's got no time for me; understand him tat he's all worn out when he booked out; understand tat he no longer can giv me the attention he once gave. now tat he got this ndp rehearsals every saturday, the time spent between both of us is reduced to short half day per week. and for the rest of the time, he's tired. he needs rest. as for me, i feel so insecure here.. cant figure out whether he is purely tired or his feelings for me lessen.. he don like me to think too much cos' he feels tat there's nth wrong with our relationship. he wans me to be guai.. here i am trying so hard to be an understanding gf. no matter how hard i try, i'm juz a ordinary gal, yearn to be loved and pampered. i wan his attention. baby, give me more of ur attention will u?
Monday, June 06, 2005
x. wad kinda monday?? `.x
early in the morning dear is angry with me. it's my fault. it's always my fault. haiz.. wad a gd start for a monday morning. okies.. then we have everything cleared up by 11am, but meaning i've skipped the 11am lesson. den slept until 2pm and set off for sch. walking down the stairs i actually slipped and fell on my butt!! ouch.. hurt my leg. and tat's not all.. while i was scanning my card outside the lecture room, some1 opened the door from inside and i nearly become pancake.. well.. at least the cmfi test for today is fine. think shld be no problem ba.. this week quite slack.. wednesday no sch, thursday 2-hour lesson, thursday 1-hour lecture. and followed by 2 weeks break. gg. budden it seems like no difference cos' 2projects due immediately on the monday when sch reopens. sucks. the sch realli noes how to plan our "holiday". or is it a holiday at all? shrugs..
Friday, June 03, 2005
x. ICAs Over- for week 7 `.x
finally week 7 is over muahahaha.. monday investment test, tuesday qm test, and juz today, insurance test. over over over. been burying myself in the books these days. next week abit slack.. but abit only.. better than this week lar.. gonna give myself a break today. means not touching my books! tml then start study cmfi. okay.. the tot of it drag my spirits down. anyway, today is me and my dear 2nd mth.. at ntie meeting him for dinner i think. time sure flies.. happy 2nd mth anniversary dear.. muacks.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
x. trust- the key to lurve `.x
the main element in a relationship, is trust. this is wad i learnt from this incident.. to those who had read my blog ytd (which i deleted it off already paiseh..), my guy and i got certain misunderstanding. i tot he was knowing other gers in friendster.. when he called me today from public phone, he have things explained to me.. tat ger is someone his fren knew.. and he was msging the ger on behalf of his fren. now i am feeling toopid for not trusting him. at first i dun seem convinced by him.. budden he gave me his friendster pw for me to check on. yea.. from the friendster trash box, there are 13msgs all from girls.. but guess wad.. those are all dated before we are together =) i guess.. i can trust him ba.. hee.. so feeling so happy and so silly now.. dear, sry for not trusting u =x